Here's What The Apartment Is:
Renovated 2 Bed, 1 Bath in Pre-War Building - Available Now or May 1st
Eat-In Kitchen w/ Granite Countertops, Stainless Steel Appliances incl. Microwave
150 Square Foot Living Room w/ Beautiful Chandelier
Queen-Sized Bedrooms w/ Large Windows & Closets
Easy Access to G Trains @ Bedford-Nostrand & Myrtle-Willoughby, Short Walk to Pratt
First & Security, Heat and Hot Water Included, Pets Accepted
Here's Who I Am:
A comedian, writer, and creator of https://twitter.com/midschooldance
An obsessive fan of The Simpsons (favorite ep: Marge vs the Monorail)
The guy in the picture covered in ash
Someone who truly enjoys helping people find the right apartment
Here's Who You Might Be:
A seasoned NYC apartment hunter, looking for a great deal
A newcomer to the city, unsure how to begin your housing search
A human in need of a place to live
If you want someone who will scream at you until you rent an apartment, contact pretty much any other broker you can find. I highly recommend them in this regard.
If you want the guy who actually thought making this ad was a good idea, has access to hundreds of other listings, and charges no broker fee, call or text Billy.
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