Here's What The Apartment Is:
1 Bed, 1 Bath in Modern Building - Available Immediately
Full Kitchen w/ Stainless Steel Appliances inlcuding Dishwasher & Microwave
Large True Living Room w/ Private Balcony
Tons of Natural Light, Large Closets, Air Conditioning
Three Blocks to 2/5 Trains at Winthrop, Easy Access to Parkside Ave B/Q and Prospect Pak
First/Last/Security, Cats Accepted
Here's Who I Am:
A comedian, writer, and creator of https://twitter.com/midschooldance
An obsessive fan of The Simpsons (favorite ep: Marge vs the Monorail)
The guy in the picture covered in ash
Someone who truly enjoys helping people find the right apartment
Here's Who You Might Be:
A seasoned NYC apartment hunter, looking for a great deal
A newcomer to the city, unsure how to begin your housing search
A human in need of a place to live
If you want someone who will scream at you until you rent an apartment, contact pretty much any other broker you can find. I highly recommend them in this regard.
If you want the guy who actually thought making this ad was a good idea, has access to hundreds of other listings, and charges no broker fee, call or text Billy.
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