Here’s a collection of some of the weirdest, wildest, and creepiest roommate stories from around the web. All of them have been paraphrased from the originals in order to keep things nice and tidy. There is, of course, no way to verify the legitimacy of any of these stories (since many of them are user-submitted on sites like Jezebel and Reddit), but some of them are so strange they couldn’t have been made up.
1. Creepy Creeper (YouTube user: Joe Cummings)
Judge for yourself whether this is the craziest “roommate” you’ve ever seen. Ever felt like there’s a creepy creeper in the room with you? Suspicious that your roommate is eating your food when you’re not there?
Most of the time those are simply that: feelings and suspicions. But sometimes they’re not. Now we’re not saying you should set up a nanny cam every time you’re worried, but check out what this guy found when he did just that:
2. Watch What You Eat (Jezebel reader: NA)
A Jezebel reader, “Rachel”, decided to live with a freshman year acquaintance, “Jill”, because she “already knew her.” Why not? Seemed like a good idea.
Nope. Rachel quickly realized the pickle she’d gotten herself into when Jill started bringing her boyfriend, “Jack”, over all the time and keeping everyone up through the night. Forgivable college behavior… except then Jack moved in for real. And once both of them were firmly ensconced in the 4-bedroom suite, they showed their true colors.
Jack and Jill ate everyone’s food, for starters, and then Jack started inviting his hoodlum friends over to party. Another girl who was living in the suite, “Lisa”, politely told Jack’s friends that they weren’t allowed over because they were being obnoxious, so naturally Jack grabbed Lisa by the throat, threw her against a door, and told her to stuff it. This pissed Rachel off – so she grabbed a kitchen knife and told Jack to stop. He did… but the horror story didn’t.
Over the next few months, Jack and Jill maliciously harassed everyone living in the suite. They put bleach in Rachel and Lisa’s laundry, turned the stove on high and burned Rachel and Lisa’s food when they weren’t paying attention, and bullied them out of the living room so they couldn’t even watch TV anymore (because Jack was “living there”). Even more appalling, complaints to management resulted in no action whatsoever. Rachel was actually told to “stick through it.”
And she did for 7 months – until one morning she woke up puking blood.
She was rushed to the ER and hospitalized for 3 weeks. Turns out her gallbladder had been cut wide open and no one knew why. Soon, Lisa was hospitalized for a week.
When Rachel went back to the suite, she discovered shards of glass in her tupperware containers (full of home-cooked food her mom had sent her). A quick lab test at the Chemistry Department revealed that high levels of chemicals found in Drano were present in both her food and Lisa’s food.
Without getting too much into the aftermath, Lisa left that school and never went back. But eventually she made her way to Harvard and now has “great hair.” So it isn’t a complete and total horror story.
3. The Animal Avenger (Reddit user: theinsaneunicorn)
One Reddit user lived in a 6-bedroom house with 5 other roommates, including “Sally.” Sally was nice and chill for the first month they all lived together, but then the claws came out. Literally. At first, Sally started making passive-aggressive comments about animal rights, green energy, and environmental issues. Whenever any of the other roommates brought meat back to the house or drank non-vegan milk, for example, Sally would be sure to let them know she disapproved.
But as the months wore on things went from irritating, to bad, to awful. By the time everyone realized how passionate Sally was about PETA, it was already too late. The animal rights event horizon had been breached. First, she started going into everyone’s rooms when they weren’t home, unplugging everything (including the AC and the fridge, which drove everyone insane since they lived in South Florida). They got the landlord to put a lockbox on the thermostat and everyone’s doors, but that didn’t stop her reign of terror.
When everyone came back from spring break, Sally had posted a note on their doors stating that she thought they were grossly disrespectful of her space and that from then on, all meat-related products would have to be used and/or consumed outside of the house. Naturally, everyone told Sally she was being unreasonable (I’m surprised they were even that nice!), and that they would keep the meat in a separate fridge – but that was it.
Sally waited until half of them were gone before getting into an argument with another girl and knocking her out. Then she went feral and broke down all the doors and smeared meat over the walls and poured milk on everyone’s bed – and it wasn’t even skim milk! The nerve.
4. Guardian of Latenight Snacks (Jezebel reader: NA)
An unknown Jezebel reader, “Becky”, had a roommate who was totally awesome – “Jen.” Of course, the law of conservation of karma meant that Jen’s boyfriend, “Bob”, was not totally awesome. In fact, Bob was cringeworthy and a bonafide weirdo.
One day, a mutual friend of Becky and Jenn, came to visit and stay over for the weekend. That night the friend got up to go to the bathroom, which meant she had to walk through the kitchen – and Becky and Jenn wake up to a fit of hysterical screaming. The friend ran back to their room and shut the door to tell them that a stranger had broken into the house and was hiding on top of the fridge. That was when Becky rolled her eyes and told her that it was just “Bob”, and that he enjoyed squatting on top of the fridge at night.
To each his or her own!
5. The Hoover Dammer (Reddit user: name deleted)
A Reddit user, let’s call him “Nemo”, went on vacation for a week, because that’s what people do. Unfortunately, the basement water heater started leaking while he was away. His roommate, “Edgar” was an engineering student, so naturally he decided to build an elaborate series of homemade dams in order to contain the leaking water, instead of turning the water off or calling the heating company, because that would have been stupid and an utter insult to his intelligence.
Oh, and when Nemo came back Edgar complained that the leaking heater was becoming a real problem. Because, clearly, he didn’t build dams for charity.
We’ve all heard roommate horror stories, or even maybe experienced them ourselves. How do yours compare to these? Tell us your craziest story!